everything is fiction

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor don't get medical advice from me I'm a liar and cannot read and/or write do not trust me.

The day of the vaccine (0)

I was lucky enough to get my first covid vaccination, hours before leaving though the news articles confirming a link between it and blood clots started popping up, I went anyway the odds seem pretty low and as it turns out it seems it was mostly a lot of fuss over nothing, if you don't get blood clots on the first dose you dont seem to get them on the second so five(ish) days after the vaccine check yourself for bruises or a persistent headache or better yet read this after reaching the vaccination center I noticed several men in a microsoft van lurking outside to get anyone who changes their mind, upon entering someone injected me with an rfid chip to “keep me safe” this is all fine and standard practice all over the world I'm told – after booking in I waited then was seen by a nurse who was very nice, the jab was over before I knew it, I had some level of nausea immediately though this was to be expected because I have low levels of anxiety when it comes to medication the nurse was very helpful explaining that an immune response typically takes 8-12hours so any immediate symptoms (excluding allergies etc) are likely just psychosomatic – I then left the center as I did I noticed a red light beeping within my arm I assume this is just some eyesight problem(?)

The next day (1)

During the night the side effects really ramped up, must be the 5g tower that I live near, My resting heartrate jumping quite high, my sleep quality being horrible and my “stress” levels experiencing a shocking jump to be direct I felt horrid, tired and most importantly my brain was so fried I couldn't even enjoy anime, some of this was probably my fault because that week I averaged 1.2L of water per day

My heartrate past 7 days

sleep The sleep was the worst part, no matter how tired I felt I couldn't sleep and when I did it didn't feel like it, it felt like I just spent hours laying in bed with my eyes closed

stress The stress seems accurate considering how awful my body felt but what do I know

Day (2)

On day two things started to get better, mild headache and aches but nothing too serious

The final day (3)

Today I feel fine my injection site hurts a bit still but I feel good as new – unfortunately it's been brought to my attention that a group of people decided the best way to kill off millions was to use some weird vaccine instead of just using tanks and guns? also every doctor and country are all in on it or too stupid to see the truth that my friend learnt from a facebook group?

I will still get the second dose since I've already been implanted with 5g bill gates 666 satan aborted fetus poison autism(?)

On a more serious note who is the real sheep, the person following the advice of almost all scientists, doctors, governments and regulatory agencies or the person who got convinced that all of those people are stupid or lying then opts to not take a vaccine that protects their life and the lives of those around them by a 5 minute facebook video and a 20 minute youtube documentary?

Whenever reading any of my posts consider the date it was posted, people change as do our views. readme // donate // apollo

Recently I've been thinking about productivity, more specifically which things in my life I would consider to be productive. Now I'm going to go a bit semantical and define productive as working to produce something for some kind of personal reward, that reward doesn't have to be money – I think unfortunately capitalism and our fetishization of doing lots of “work” (more accurately working a lot) leads to certain words being muddied; Look at how drastically the meaning of the word work has changed, now work has become synonymous with “your main source of income” what a useless word, almost everyone hates their job. I was tricked by a similar changing of meaning when it comes to productivity but no longer, weight lifting? that's productive, reading? that's productive meditation? that's productive and so on.

The issue with how we currently see productivity is it's always centered around other peoples perception or money, I've spoken to a lot of friends about productivity and I've yet to hear anyone claim something they enjoy and would chose to do anyway is productive, think about how many people would consider reading a book about economics to be productive but wouldn't consider watching a youtube video about economics to be productive, now a good concern here is how much attention is paid but then it's just a matter of scale, neither task is inherently productive, you could skim read a book and I could watch, pause and make notes on a youtube video – so it's not the youtube video that is unproductive it's the engagement with it that defines if it's productive, I came to this realization when a friend was talking about podcasts he's listened to at work, then he whipped out a fucking notebook – the thought of taking notes on podcasts had never entered my mind I always saw them as passive, never as productive.

Lets take another example in which we describe a task without saying what the task is (it'll be easy to guess) Several time per week I set aside about an hour to complete this difficult task, I record all the data I can about it to hopefully improve and to ensure this task remains difficult to complete, some days it's very difficult and seems overwhelming but I do it anyway because I want to continue to progress. I even track my progress and have several long term goals I'm working toward, I've spent hours learning about this subject so that I can further improve and so my approach to it is as good as it can be. Is this task productive? More importantly does what the task is make any difference to if it's productive or not? We probably shouldn't start considering everything to be productive but the line between productive/unproductive seems to lie on you personally and how you chose to define it, Not based on what the activity itself is.

The point I'm trying to put forward is don't let some shit head bosses trick you into thinking you're not productive because you don't earn them more money, don't stress too much about productivity you're almost certainly more productive than you give yourself credit for.


Whenever reading any of my posts consider the date it was posted, people change as do our views. readme // donate // apollo


This post was created in March, 2021
This post was last edited in March, 2021

The intentions of this post is to lay out my current routine as a sort of personal time capsule, though routines should be flexible and develop over time mine has remained roughly the same for a long while now, it might change in the future.



Reading60 Minutes
Meditate20 Minutes
Journal5 Minutes
Exercise30-60 Minutes
Shower10 Minutes
TOTAL TIME:2 hours and 5 minutes - 2 hours and 35 minutes

I think this is probably over the top for most people but I don't mind waking up early if I was trying to cut time I'd cut the reading down to 20 minutes and the meditation to 10 minutes.

There are also other habits in my morning that I try to stick to, such as not looking at any news, messages or emails for the first 2 hours of my day, I also keep most 'social' and time wasting apps blocked until around 5pm using actiondash I've also found the habit of never hitting snooze to be rewarding in the long run, I just set two alarms one of which requires me to get out of bed. I also find exposure to sunlight very helpful even in the winter months.


Journal10 Minutes
Yoga10 Minutes
Meditation5 Minutes
TOTAL TIME:25 Minutes

To give you some level of insight I'm going to talk relative to the time I want to be asleep for, about 2 hours before I want to be asleep I switch to relaxed music like lofi hip hop, actiondash kicks in again blocking social apps and my phone switches to silent, only allowing texts from starred contacts to come through or any phone call I sometimes check signal and will respond to messages if I see them and they're casual but the messages aren't forced upon me, I also turn off my harsh white light and switch to a more dim relaxed orangey/yellow one then turn on an air purifier for about an hour, the routine in the table above is done anytime from an hour to 30 minutes before I want to be asleep. I've found these simple habits have helped a lot with my sleep quality most nights I'm able to consistently get 7 hours of sleep and get to sleep in under 30 minutes


I keep my weekends pretty open and minimal.


On saturday I clean my house, mop, vacuum, change my bedding etc. if I feel like it I'll also do some cardio or yoga


On sunday I alternate between spending the day mostly in bed or going on a walk (averaging 10km) I also don't use my computer or any social/timewasting apps.


Whenever reading any of my posts consider the date it was posted, people change as do our views. readme // donate // apollo

I have a friend who complains about two issues

  1. he doesn't enjoy reading
  2. he doesn't read enough

This post is mostly for him but might also have some more general advice, I read quite a lot, in fact this year alone I've read 7 books, if you like reading it's a numbers game, the average book takes between 5-7 hours so if you just read for an hour a day you'll read 50+ books per year, but if you read in the way people watch tv you'll get through a lot more you may be thinking “what about retention?” do you retain all the movies you watch? in fact have you ever taken effort to retain any movie you've watched? why should my form of entertainment be any different? that being said some books I read for more than entertainment and do have methods to help my retention.

When people say they watch to read they don't usually mean it, they mean they want the things books can teach you but due to elitism of readers any other form of learning is looked down upon. I don't want to discredit books completely if you're trying to learn anything at a high level books are irreplaceable but if you just want to know about something why the hell would you chose a book that'll take hours to read instead of a 20-40 minute youtube video you can take notes on? I chose books because my attention span makes me want to shoot myself watching youtube videos, skimming is very annoying on youtube, most of the time you can watch at 2x speed all the way through but with longer videos you have to either have a good attention span or keep switching between 1.25x, 1.5x, 2x which is really annoying but when reading you can just switch seamlessly between skimming and paying close attention, it also helps that I enjoy reading words make brain go brrrr.

If you don't enjoy reading you shouldn't want to read more than you have to reading rarely has benefits that're unique to books other than egostroking with a bunch of people who've just read wikipedia pages for books so they can pretend they've read the whole thing. Not enjoying reading isn't something to be sad about it's just a personal preference and however much you read is enough, if you begin reading more you'll still be reading enough, if you stop reading as much you'll still be reading enough – when most people talk about wanting to read it's for either

a. talking to others about how much they love reading etc, bordering on aesthetic circlejerking

b. to gain value from having read, education

(a) should be dismissed completely in the age of the ereader the only reason to have books is because you can't get them for your ereader or reference materials, the fact people have hundreds of dollars worth of books (resale value) sat on a shelf that they will never re-read or have never even read will only ever fill me with disgust, there are even apps in which you just scan barcodes, box up your books then slap on a shipping label and they come and collect the books, that have ironically become nothing more than paperweights from you.

(b) is also a mostly silly reason we live in an incredible time in which there are way to become educated on almost any topic without ever reading, youtube videos, online courses, audible – there even exist services to summarise and condense books for you such as SparkNotes and Blinkist some elitists might claim these are not as good as the real thing but I'd strongly argue as someone who reads that a 10 minute summary and then maybe a 15 minute review of a 7 hour book will give you the same level of understanding and insight as reading the book would (though this doesn't apply to all books) you can even have news articles read to you via pocket

Reading isn't for everyone and if it isn't for you be thankful we live in an age in which reading isn't required to learn.


Whenever reading any of my posts consider the date it was posted, people change as do our views. readme // donate // apollo

I recently decided to start using plausible analytics on this blog I already pay for plausible for analytics on another couple sites but I think even if I didn't I'd still pay for plausible – extrinsic motivation has always been something that scared me, I want to do things because I want to, but I don't think that applies to this blog, I write a lot, compulsively and most of it never gets posted anywhere a lot even gets deleted or destroyed but I notice when I see views or any kind of metric go up I feel some sense of responsibility even if just to one person that responsibility doesn't make me feel uncomfortable or pressured it just feel like a nudge to post. has stats built in but they're quite bad and using plausible won't cost me any more money so I may as well use it how I went about using it was based on this post the code with changes for plausible can be found below.

const script = document.createElement('script');
script.setAttribute('defer', true);
script.setAttribute('async', true);
script.setAttribute('src', '');
script.setAttribute('data\-domain', 'DOMAIN HERE DUMMY);


Whenever reading any of my posts consider the date it was posted, people change as do our views. readme // donate // apollo


A friend of mine who studies biomedicine or something, the sort of cool sci-fi type human modification field whatever it may be called(?) recently asked me a question related to it, if you could have your genome edited not only to remove any mental illness you might have but to ensure you couldn’t develop any mental illness in the future would you do it?


the answer at first seems obvious but upon further thought I don’t think it is – my reasoning is mental illness though negative is as much a part of you as any trait you hold (before any psychologists reading this get angry allow me to continue) this isn’t to say you should wish to hold them forever or they make you better, often an issue with the treatment of depression is viewing depression as a core part of who you are, when treatment begins to gain results some even retreat from treatment due to fear that not having depression will somehow make them worse or that being depressed is who they are etc, I do not believe this I believe you should seek to remove any mental illness you have and that you will be better off for it, so why would I possibly be unsure about editing genomes to remove mental illness and ensure they cannot develop? it’s also worth specifying I’m talking only for myself on a society level I see no reason why if possible this shouldn’t be made available to anyone who wants it.


For better or worse mental illness becomes who you are, if you've had it for a long time others view it as a core part of your personality – When I've had drugs that work well my friends have remarked on how I seem like a completely different person.

If you have a mental illness it is a part of your identity, something we like to hold onto.

What about stopping yourself from developing mental illness? This also seems to impact your identity since everyone responds to things in unique ways, If you don't respond to stress well and then you clicked a button ensuring you can't have a mental breakdown then get put under a fuck ton of stress and you respond fine are you still you?


Imagine for a second you have a mental illness, In one scenario you take a long arduous route of therapy, medication, self development, struggle and determination to overcome it, you're not cured but you've managed to regain most of your functioning. In scenario two you click a button and you're good as new, cured, never have to worry about it again.

Doesn't scenario one just intuitively feel more authentic than the other? I think the reason for this is struggle and enduring suffering is a fundamental part of being human, we feel more connected to those that've endured as opposed to someone who's never suffered or struggled in any capacity, we feel more connected to people once they share the tales of their suffering, This feeling of connection I believe stems from authenticity the person becomes more real, more authentic, more human.

To contrast it with traits imagine you struggle with anger, you have three paths forward (a) accept it and do nothing (b) to understand why you’re angry and to spend the rest of your life trying continually to keep it under control or © click a button and it goes away. since I don’t accept (a) as a valid choice and see it purely as a lack of choice it will be ignored, (b) feels the most authentic but does this actually make it the case?

The changing of who we are must feel self guided or it's rejected as completely artificial, the button offers an artificial solution to what is (but doesn't feel like) an artificial problem, I can think of no more artificial constraint of the self than mental illness, it distorts your view of reality, your ability to assess life, it forces moods and beliefs upon you without consent or you willing it, The parts of you that are a result of the mental illness are completely inauthentic and artificial in their design so why should the way we expel them require authenticity? why do we seemingly reject artificial resolutions to an artificial problem?

If the way in which we expel the problem that we've already integrated as part of ourself lacks authenticity then an underlying lack of authenticity is built into the foundations of our new self, with the proposed button leading to permanent indisputable changes I think this is why I recoiled at the thought, my new self would never be capable of true authenticity.

The point of this post isn't I'm right your wrong or anything like that, I thought it was interesting how much I struggled with the question and I've found writing things out in some sort of structure way is great for self understanding – in fact throughout this post I should have used me/I instead of you but I know my answer to the question and why that's my answer so perhaps it would have been pointless to phrase it that way.

Whenever reading any of my posts consider the date it was posted, people change as do our views. readme // donate // apollo

I doubt I'll ever use it or if I do use it much but it's nice knowing I can make paid posts




Ecosocialists believe that the prevention of an unprecedented ecological catastrophe and the preservation of a natural environment favorable to human life are incompatible with the expansive and destructive logic of the capitalist system. In Ecosocialism, Michael Lowy, Research Director at Paris' National Centre for Scientific Research, explores some of the main ecosocialist proposals and concrete experiences of struggle, particularly in Latin America.

Criticisms of capitalism

  • Capitalism requires endless expansion, on a planet with limited resources this is un-sustainable
  • Any ecological restrictions put upon capitalism will at most slow down the destruction of the natural environment by extension anyone claiming to care about the environment cannot be a capitalist without the two being in direct contradiction


Ecosocialism will be international and universal, or it will be nothing. The crises of our time can and must be seen as revolutionary opportunities, which it is our obligation to affirm and bring into existence.

The world is suffering from a fever due to climate change, and the disease is the capitalist development model.” -Evo Morales, president of Bolivia, September 2007

If there is any escape from climate change and the global ecological crisis, it will emerge from the power of struggle and the organization of the oppressed and exploited peoples of the world, with the understanding that the struggle for a world without ecological devastation must connect to the struggle for a society without oppression or exploitation. This change must begin now, bringing together unique struggles, daily efforts, processes of self-management, and reforms to slow the crisis, with a vision centered on a change of civilization, a new society in harmony with nature. This is the central proposal of ecosocialism, an alternative to our current ecological catastrophe.

What guarantee is there that the people will make the right ecological choices, even at the price of giving up some of their habits of consumption? There is no such “guarantee,” other than the reasonable expectation that the rationality of democratic decisions will prevail once the power of commodity fetishism is broken.

For ecosocialists, the problem with the main currents of political ecology, represented by most green parties, is that they do not seem to take into account the intrinsic contradiction between the capitalist dynamics of the unlimited expansion of capital and accumulation of profits and the preservation of the environment


The advertising industry—which induces needs through mental manipulation—has invaded all spheres of human life in modern capitalist societies: not only nourishment and clothing, but sports, culture, religion, and politics are shaped according to its rules. It has invaded our streets, mailboxes, TV screens, newspapers, and landscapes in a permanent, aggressive, and insidious way, and it decisively contributes to habits of conspicuous and compulsive consumption

The issue is not “excessive consumption” in the abstract, but the prevalent type of consumption, based as it is on conspicuous consumption, massive waste, mercantile alienation, obsessive accumulation of goods, and the compulsive acquisition of pseudo-novelties imposed by “fashion.

the capitalist system reveals itself every day more financially and ideologically bankrupt, unable to overcome the economic, ecological, social, food, and other crises it engenders.

ecosocialist civilization beyond the reign of money, beyond consumption habits artificially produced by advertising, and beyond the unlimited production of commodities such as private automobiles that are harmful to the environment

Infinite economic expansion is incompatible with finite and fragile ecosystems, but the capitalist economic system cannot tolerate limits on growth; its constant need to expand will subvert any limits that might be imposed in the name of “sustainable development.”

We need no more proof of the barbarity of capitalism, the parasitical system that exploits humanity and nature alike. Its sole motor is the imperative toward profit and thus the need for constant growth. It wastefully creates unnecessary products, squandering the environment’s limited resources and returning to it only toxins and pollutants. Under capitalism, the only measure of success is how much more is sold every day, every week, every year—involving the creation of vast quantities of products that are directly harmful to both humans and nature, commodities that cannot be produced without spreading disease, destroying the forests that produce the oxygen we breathe, demolishing ecosystems, and treating our water, air, and soil like sewers for the disposal of industrial waste.


Ecosocialism proposes radical transformations in: 1. the energy system, by replacing carbon-based fuels and biofuels with clean sources of power under community control: wind, geothermal, wave, and, above all, solar power; 2. the transportation system, by drastically reducing the use of private trucks and cars, replacing them with free and efficient public transportation; 3. present patterns of production, consumption, and building, which are based on waste, inbuilt obsolescence, competition, and pollution, by producing only sustainable and recyclable goods and developing green architecture; 4. food production and distribution, by defending local food sovereignty as far as this is possible, eliminating polluting industrial agribusinesses, creating sustainable agro-ecosystems, and working actively to renew soil fertility.

To theorize and to work toward realizing the goal of green socialism does not mean that we should not also fight for concrete and urgent reforms right now. Without any illusions about “clean capitalism,” we must work to impose on the powers that be—governments, corporations, international institutions—some elementary but essential immediate changes: • drastic and enforceable reduction in the emission of greenhouse gases, • development of clean energy sources, • provision of an extensive free public transportation system, • progressive replacement of trucks by trains, • creation of pollution clean-up programs, and • elimination of nuclear energy and war spending.

Democratic decisions on investment and technological development must replace control by capitalist enterprises, investors, and banks, in order to serve the long-term horizon of society’s and nature’s common good.

To avoid global warming and other dangers threatening human and ecological survival, entire sectors of industry and agriculture must be suppressed, reduced, or restructured and others must be developed, while providing full employment for all. Such a radical transformation is impossible without collective control of the means of production and democratic planning of production and exchange

To give an example: a self-administered factory decides to evacuate its toxic waste into a river. The population of a whole region is in danger of being polluted: it can therefore, after a democratic debate, decide that production in this unit must be discontinued until a satisfactory solution is found to control its waste. Hopefully, in an ecosocialist society, the factory workers themselves will have enough ecological consciousness to avoid making decisions that are dangerous to the environment and the health of the local population

Tags: #booknotes #environmentalism

Whenever reading any of my posts consider the date it was posted, people change as do our views. readme // donate // apollo

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.


I believe myself to be a curious person, but I like most also believe that being a curious person is a positive thing so to bring in a level of healthy self doubt my reason for believing I’m a curious person is because I’ve been repeatedly told it not just as a child but as an adult, I also have more interests than the average person. With a smaller sample size I’ve noticed among my peers most stopped learning once they left school/college and most never saw learning as a form of entertainment or hobby. My range of hobbies is diverse and focused on learning or observation, all of this I believe qualifies me to self identify as a curious person but enough of me sucking myself off for all to see, because in all likelihood I’m actually incredibly average, I just do different things I don’t have some ability that others lack just things others don’t do/think – I believe anyone is capable of being a curious person, it just requires identifying how curiosity is harmed and how it can be cultivated.

Why is curiosity the outlier?

When we think of people who have curiosity we view them as the outlier, why are they curious? but we all can think back to a time in which we had that same curiosity, for most it will have been destroying a tv remote to see the insides, following a bird through the woods to see where it’s going and what it’s doing, for nothing more than curiosity – but yet when confronted with adults that retained that curiosity we ask why are they that way? but I think the much better question is why are we no longer like that? not what gave them curiosity as an adult but what took ours away.

Self defeating mindset

I also want to talk on a more personal level about a friend, she’s one of my closest drinking buddies (though due to covid we’ve not seen each other in a long while) we usually end up talking in the taxi ride to the club or at some point or another getting pissed and talking – she always mentions how intelligent I am, how stupid I make her feel (by contrast) and how she wishes she could be as smart as I am – the reason she isn’t? because she doesn’t believe she can be I don’t think I’m intelligent I think I’ve been exposed to a lot of things, I don’t think my brain is unique or better than average at processing things, I don’t think my retention is above that of the average person, I don’t believe I’m smarter or more intelligent than the average person. I think I’ve just learnt more things due to my curiosity.

What acts against curiosity?

I think the two major things working to stifle curiosity are (1) Insecurity (2) reward orientated learning

(1) Insecurity

My (online) friends group has quite a strong and often toxic debate culture, one thing I’ve noticed is that group can be split into two categories, the ones (a) that accept when they’re wrong and try to learn more about why they’re wrong to strengthen their beliefs or opinions and a second set (b) that will often times lie to avoid admitting they’re wrong – Now I want to avoid criticizing one group or another personally since I’m talking about my friend who I care about and want to avoid a holy-than-thou attitude coming across – I’ve spoken to both sets and even been public about which set I believe people fall into, this post isn’t some hidden way for me to talk about how I’m better than my peer group because I don’t believe that.

The reason I give that personal example is because I think it is relatable for most people. The issue however is learning and curiosity is a constant state of insecurity, you’re often shown just how wrong you are about a lot of things or how you’re an adult who doesn’t know very foundational things (I still don’t know subtraction truly, I just subtract them and if it ends up being a negative number I either ignore or honor the negative depending on what feels correct) and privately this can be difficult however to be a curious person it must be made public, you’ll have to ask people questions and publicly test yourself, so now you have to face often being wrong publicly or admitting to lapses in your knowledge I recently started to learn the guitar and that’s shown me how little I know about sound, I didn’t have any idea guitars needed to be tuned for certain songs, I thought tuning a guitar meant just setting it once, once a guitar was tuned it could play and song perfectly – when I mentioned this to friends I was ridiculed (lovingly) because each of them understood it intuitively without ever even trying to learn to play the guitar how you approach these moments will either help or harm your curiosity, if you retreat and feel shame then deep down some part of you must feel as if it’s bad to have lapses in knowledge or to not know everything, but living with a sense of curiosity will repeatedly show you that you know almost nothing about anything.

I think the way to overcome this is the same as most shortcomings, conditioning each day write down one thing you do know and five you don’t, then try and find a friend who might know something you don’t and ask them, the more basic it is the better, this will feel uncomfortable but you’ll realize nothing bad really happens and that there’s nothing wrong with not knowing things, to paraphrase something I read once, being stupid isn’t bad, staying stupid is.

(2) reward orientated learning

A very important part of nurturing curiosity is learning, curiosity needs it to develop but during schooling two things seem to be universally taught that we need to unlearn

  • (1) There are correct and incorrect things to learn
  • (a) Trying to satisfy your curiosity will lead to punishment.
  • (b) Learning has to be active and has a (low) limit.
  • (2) The goal of learning is to help you towards a clear and often material reward.
  • (a) The outcome of learning should be decided before learning is started.
  • (b) Learning has no inherent value.

I will address each of these in parts, illustrating each in what I believe are widely applicable anecdotes

Part I

There are correct and incorrect things to learn:

This idea is brought in very young, through being told to stop wasting classes time with stupid questions at the time it seems harmless and practical, the amount of time is limited and certain things have to be taught – but children are naturally curious and I think it’s a fair assumption if when that curiosity is exercised it’s met with dismissal and in some cases resentment that’s clear to even a child it will lead that child to exercise it less, especially if that resentment and dismissal is mirrored by the childs parents – this ties in (a) pretty cleanly, I remember being yelled at for watching a bee and asking questions related to it instead of paying attention in maths (even though I already completed the work) this overtime will enforce (b) since in a lot of situations it isn’t because you’re wasting the classes time, it isn’t because you’re not doing your work – it must be something else, I think in most the idea your capacity for learning is low and learning cannot be done passively, it always requires effort and you’re effort is limited, but learning can most certainly be done passively – a common example is in the observation of birds now it’s pretty well known that mallards fly in an almost standard (for ducks) V formation, you most likely also know that the mallard formation also has some kind of hierarchy, leaders and those being lead – But do you remember being taught this? I think for most they learnt this from observation then had some kind of confirmation, or perhaps you didn’t know this at all, lets say that’s the case I think by just exposure (i.e seeing mallards) you would learn without conscious effort not only what a mallard is (though you wouldn’t know the name of it) but also the fact they fly in a V formation you would learn through no conscious effort perhaps you would even learn they do so to help one (or two) mallards guide the entire group – or at very least if asked why do they fly in a V formation? you would be able to figure it out through using things you learnt passively, not by intently watching mallards but by just having them in your field of vision repeatedly and occasionally noticing them.

Part 2

The goal of learning is to help you towards a clear and often material reward:

Why have you learnt anything? the answer taught to us repeatedly is for a clear goal, when you need to start reading, you learn to read; when you need to start exercising, you learn about exercise; you learn things when you need it, obviously the example of schooling should already be in the front of your mind since schooling is the longest and most intense form of learning any of us will experience – it also very strongly enforces this ideal in us the reason you’re learning mathematics isn’t because it’s a very functional thing to know, the reason you’re learning english isn’t so you can better understand others and communicate with them, you learn these things because almost every job requires a qualification in both. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing jobs should want you to have foundational skills and knowledge but I’m saying there are much better motives for learning these things than some vague idea of employment in the future on (2b) learning is never seen as an inherently enjoyable activity, it will be hard for me to argue it is especially the type of learning we’re talking about here that requires a period of ‘retraining’ to gain your curiosity back so I will give an anecdotal example that might apply then hope that if you undergo a period of ‘retraining’ you come to feel as if point (2b) is correct, the anecdote is this post, throughout reading it you might’ve found parts you agree with or disagree with but I’m hoping you will disagree or agree with at least one part not through actively thinking about it but through passively doing so, you saw something then your brain began thinking about it whilst you continued to read forward until a conclusion of agreement or disagreement was reached, a completely passive but thought out opinion was formed, passive learning.

What nurtures curiosity?

I believe the nurturing of curiosity doesn’t have to happen from an early age but can be nurtured at any age but to achieve curiosity you need to be in the correct environment free of mindless distractions. I think curiosity always arises from a lack of things to think about to give this a fair consideration I’d like to propose you go to some natural spot, the less man made things you can find the better (lacking that just a place without people) set a timer on your phone for 30 minutes then don’t pick it up or distract yourself with anything until the timer hits zero – You’ll notice two things, one an increase in observation and a seeming decrease in thinking (though this is more an increase in attention and decrease in distracting thought) now since curiosity is a very abstract feeling you’ll be the only one to know if this induces curiosity but I believe firmly it will. The point is to prove curiosity isn’t constant and you can experience a state of curiosity which will hopeful overcome the mindset of “I’m just not a very curious person” and convince you curiosity is something worth pursuing.

Knowing what you’re curious about

This is an important one, perhaps the most like most new things I believe theres an uptick and then leveling out, at first you will likely adopt a lot of things you’re curious about but this I believe is a conflation of interest and curiosity; curiosity in something doesn’t require a practical outcome but just exists to satisfy itself, the reason to pursue the curiosity is to satiate itself whereas interest will require something more at least in my view.

Now that’s been established to find out what your curious about doesn’t take (and I doubt could be achieved by) a rigorous system. I think the best approach is through making a list of activities you might enjoy, from that do some new activities and keep in your mind you’re looking for something that enhances or encourages your general curiosity but to try and be a little more helpful I will list mine and when less obvious why I believe it enhances my general curiosity.

  • Hiking (daytime and overnight)
  • Bird watching
  • Mycology (at purely an identification and hobbyist level)
  • Reading

intuitive learning and self correction

Intuitive learning is just my way of expressing the earlier concept of the mallard observations, you’re learning intuitively (sometimes passively) but an important addition to this process, not just for your own sake but also for curiosities sake is self correction, until you confirm what you learn intuitively as fact you should consider it fiction.


To conclude I believe curiosity is a very important part of being human and anyone who wishes to, even “people who aren’t curious” can cultivate and maintain a curious mindset.


Whenever reading any of my posts consider the date it was posted, people change as do our views. readme // donate // apollo

I only started recording data in august first in a spreadsheet then on storygraph Overall data — If purchasing books please consider a more ethical retailer here or google search “libgen mirrors” then click links till you get one that works; fuck paying for digital books when you can get a better product for free.

Stats rundown (since august)

  • Books read: 18
  • Pages Read: 5,152
  • Top three genres Philosophy, Self help, Psychology
  • Top three 'moods' Informative, Reflective, Challenging

Books I enjoyed reading

  • In the Heart of the Sea: The Tragedy of the Whaleship Essex
  • Against Civilization: Readings and Reflections
  • Irrational Man: A Study in Existential Philosophy

Books I would recommend

  • How to live a good life, Massimo Pigliucci [buy] // MD5: [f6153113d0666fcdcf242576c1235ca9]
  • How to Read a Book, Mortimer J. Adler [buy] // MD5: [09D7400D8007591E7462B12514FC24D4]

Topics I liked reading about

  • Taoism


Whenever reading any of my posts consider the date it was posted, people change as do our views. readme // donate // apollo

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